1. It was announced on Tuesday that N’SYNC will reunite for a one-time only show during this weekend’s Video Music Awards on MTV. Of course this is all contingent upon Joey Fatone’s manager giving him the night off at the Sizzler.
2. It was announced on Tuesday that N’SYNC will reunite for a one-time only show during this weekend’s Video Music Awards on MTV. This marks the first time that band member J.C. Chasez will be back at the VMAs since 2004 when he was a seat filler.
3. LinkedIn said it will open its social networking site to those above 13 years of age in a move aimed at attracting a younger membership base. Great news for the tech-savvy, career-focused pedophile.
4. Los Angeles Angels slugger Albert Pujols has been shut down for the remainder of the baseball season due to an injured left foot. Just what the city of Los Angeles needs, another out-of-work Hispanic.
5. According to scientists, the carcasses of dozens of dolphins, seven times more than normal, have been washing up on beaches this summer. Experts don’t expect the dolphin carnage to stop anytime soon, noting that the NFL football season is right around the corner.
6. A man who hacked into Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook page to expose a software bug is getting donations from hackers around the world after the company declined to pay him under a program that normally rewards people who report flaws. So, if you notice a few bucks missing from your bank account, that’s where it went.
7. Boston Red Sox pitcher Ryan Dempster has been given a five-game suspension for “intentionally throwing at” New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. Said the Yankees, “We are appalled by the actions of Ryan Dempster, we told him to make sure to put A-Rod out of commission by aiming at his head.”
8. Boston Red Sox pitcher Ryan Dempster has been given a five-game suspension for “intentionally throwing at” New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. But the punishment seems awfully light since apparently you don’t have to serve MLB mandated suspensions anymore.
9. Boston Red Sox pitcher Ryan Dempster has been given a five-game suspension for “intentionally throwing at” New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez. Wait a minute, I get to hit A-Rod with a baseball AND not go to work for five days? Where do I sign up?
10. A Russian athlete denied on Tuesday that she had intended to show her disapproval of her country’s “anti-gay propaganda” law when she kissed a teammate on the lips on the winners’ podium at the Moscow world championships. You can read all about it in her upcoming obituary after she mysteriously disappears.
